“Another night out, another dance floor,”
Random stuff happening this week has gotten me thinking…
I have changed. Tremendously.
I care less, I’m quicker to become indifferent, I am wary to wear my heart on my sleeve but when I do, I do it well. However when I’m disappointed, sure, I’m upset, but less upset. It’s almost as if I’m used to it. I’m a lot more callous,I apply a ‘fuck-it’ attitude to quite a lot of things in my life. Maybe I need it, to be able to survive in medicine. I still do care about things and people but only if I think they’re really deserving of my time. I value myself a lot more though. And I do believe I’ve become tougher.
A conversation with an ex and old friend made me realise just how much has changed in 8 years. My tastes in music, clothes, people, the kind of person I’ve become.
This week has been the ghosts of boyfriends past. My first ever boyfriend got back in touch with me as well as a guy I dated last year. Two very different people from different phases of my life, quite representative of it too. I still have an affinity for them but it’s different now. We can still talk and laugh about random things. But so much has changed and they can tell that I’m no longer the person I used to be.
It was a little scary discovering just how much has changed though. Can’t help but feel a little lost and lonely.

